By Kieran Lin Rich – KRich13@bellsouth.net

I learned something new this week….April and May are the top months for tornado touch-downs in the state of Tennessee.  I tend to believe the statistic to be correct.  In the last week, we’ve had two tornado warnings (With grave forecasts of another today.)  and enough lightning to make the cats all fuzzy.

Tornadoes scare me.  They always have.  If I were to get all psychological on you, I could pretty much boil it down to anything that I can’t control scares me…tornadoes, fires, death of someone I love, floods, terrorist attacks…well, you get the idea.

So in the midst of an afternoon tornado warning last week, I hunkered down in the master bathroom with two cats.  The third cat was invited to the party but chose not to attend — making her R.S.V.P regrets clear by hiding behind Jeff’s desk and hissing at me when I tried to bring her downstairs.

I’d done what I could do to prepare for the bad weather.  All that was left was just waiting for whatever was going to happen…to happen.  As I thought about Jeff being 15 miles away at work — in an area that was reportedly getting the brunt of the storms — my brain immediately kicked into “Worst Case Scenario” mode and in a matter a few short minutes, I managed to scare myself silly.

After I realized I was catching fear from myself, I tried to re-focus my brain.  I thought about my grocery list, the chores that were still undone, and what further steps needed to be taken to get supper on the table.  And yet, my mind’s eye constantly saw funnel clouds dancing on the horizon…lots and lots of funnel clouds.

That was when I began to talk to myself.  “What do I know?”  I asked myself out loud.  And then a strange thing happened.  Like a printer belching out a monthly report, my brain began rattling off the choice tid-bits of information that it has stored over the years.  And I do use the term “choice” very loosely.

Here is a sampling of the useless information that resides in my head:

1. The microwave oven was invented as an accidental by-product of World War II radar research using magnetrons — vacuum tubes that produce microwave radiation.
2. Orange M&Ms were introduced 1976.
3. Atlanta’s Fabulous Fox Theater got air-conditioning before the White House did.
4. Barbara Millicent Roberts A.K.A “Barbie” is from the town of Willows, Wisconsin.  
5. President Eisenhower named of the official Presidental retreat after his grandson, turning ”Shangri-La” into “Camp David”.
6. The NFL franchise the Tennessee Titans began life in 1960 as the Houston Oilers.
7. Legos got their name from combining the first two letters of Danish words “leg” and “godt” — Translation?  “Play well.”
8. Waffle House serves more than 3.2 million pounds of grits each year.  ( Author’s note:  However, the big question remains…WHY does ANYONE voluntarily eat grits?)
9. The largest body of fresh water in the world is Lake Superior.
10. Disney’s “It’s a Small World” ride actually debuted at the 1964-1965 World’s Fair in New York.  It was a benefit for UNICEF.
11. Calvin Coolidge was sworn into office by his dad — a notary public.
12. Coca-Cola was invented in 1886 by Atlanta, Georgia pharmacist John Pemberton.   Between 1888 and 1891,  a guy named Asa Candler secured rights to the business for a little over $2,000.
13. Tennessee became the 16th state on June 1, 1796.
14. President Lincoln owned only one home during his lifetime.  It was in Springfield, Illinois.
15. Lou Gehring hit a grand-slam homer at Chicago’s Wrigley Field.  This may not seem like a big deal but the year was 1920 and Lou was still in high school.
16. Charlie Brown’s beagle Snoopy had four brothers:  Marbles, Spike, Olaf, and Andy.  He also had one sister named Belle.
17. In Paraguay, dueling is completely legal as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
18. The first Piggly-Wiggly grocery store opened in Memphis, Tennessee in 1916.
19. Amy Carter, youngest child of President Jimmy Carter, had a Siamese cat named Misty Malarky Ying Yang.
20. The first Wienermobile debuted in 1936 at the cost of $5000.00.
21. In the game of Clue, the victim’s name is Mr. Boddy.
22. The series M*A*S*H was comprised of 251 episodes.
23. In 1955, Sears & Roebuck printed an ad in a Colorado Springs newspaper giving children a phone number to call to track Santa’s flight on Christmas Eve.  However, the phone number that was printed was one digit off — giving kids the number to NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command.)  Thankfully, the Colonel who answered the phone caught on quickly and not wanting to disappoint the kids, he played along.  NORAD has been tracking Santa’s journey on Christmas Eve ever since.  
24. Maine is the only U.S state with a name of one syllable.
25. “Idlewild” was the original name for John F. Kennedy International airport.
26. The publisher of “Cat in the Hat” made a bet with Dr. Seuss.  The publisher didn’t think Seuss could write a coherant story with a vocabulary of only 50 words.  The result of the bet?  The book “Green Eggs & Ham.”
27. The Titanic was build in Belfast, Northern Ireland at the Harland and Wolff shipyards.
28. The ends of shoelaces are called “aglets”.
29. Colorado won the bid to host the 1976 Winter Olympics.  They made history when they turned down the offer becoming the first and only state to refuse to host the Games.
30. Thomas Edison had 1093 U.S. patents.
31. The first Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade was in 1924. 
32. Tennessee is ranks behind only Virginia in the number of Civil War battles fought within its borders.
33. Gatorade was invented at the University of Florida.  Go Gators!
34. Marie Curie was the first female to win a Nobel Prize.
35. Winnie the Pooh is a boy bear.

You may be wondering at this point why I store all of this garbage.  Quite frankly, I’m wondering the same thing.  I do not know why my brain functions the way it does.  I do know that if you spin peanut M&Ms, they stand upright; and, yet I cannot remember to buy bananas at the grocery store.  Go figure!  Outside of being able to absolutely rock at “Trivial Pursuit”, I see little advantage to having a brain crammed with factoids. 

But as I hid from the tornadoes, my rambling mental list finally slowed down to a trickle, my mind quieted, and I closed my eyes.  As if he were standing there with me in the bathroom, I heard Jeff’s voice as clear as day…”Do you know that I love you?”  Only in my mind, I didn’t picture Jeff at all.  Instead I saw the face I saw was that of Jesus.

He loves me — enough to die for me that I might have eternal life.  In the midst of my crisis of fear last week, I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I didn’t I think of that in my list of stuff that I know.  My brain was so full of useless facts that it crowded out the one thought that really matters…

Jesus loves me…this I know.

By Kiera Rich – KRich13@bellsouth.net

I have this little game that I play when I can’t sleep at night.  Due to a stubborn and persistent streak of insomnia, I’ve been playing a lot lately.  The game is pretty simple.  I lay in the dark and think of things I really want to know that cannot be learned by conventional methods.  I imagine hanging out with Jesus and  finally getting the answers to all these perplexing questions.

For instance, I would really like to know what the point is to leaf blowers — in the global sense of the word.  Atlanta is completely obessed with its landscaping.  After living there for two years, I have had the opportunity to witness many of these leaf blowers in action.  The blowee guys (Bonus points for the first person to email me with the actual job title!)  walk along the sidewalk with their blowers, making little piles of debris swirl in front of them.  Need a visual?  Picture the character Pig Pen from the old “Peanuts” cartoons.

I understand that the obvious purpose of this act is to clean off the sidewalk.  I get that part.  What I don’t get though is what happens to the little piles of debris when Pig Pen turns off the blower.  The piles still exist, don’t they?  They’re just in a new and improved location.  A location where, in a few days, a new Pig Pen will come along, stir up the debris, and blow it another quarter mile down the road.  And the process continues.  Am I alone in thinking this is a ludicrious if not totally futile act?

And, now for the really big question.  After all of the Pig Pens have done their thing, what ultimately happens to all the debris?  Where does it go?  When Canada isn’t looking do we just sweep it under the border?

Some of my questions are a bit more intellectual.  On the heels of a Presidential election, I would like someone to explain to me why ANYONE would want to be President of the United States right now.  What kind of sane person would voluntarily inherit the headaches of major financial crises, two foreign wars, and a bunch of elected U.S. officials who tanked on a quiz about American history?  No, seriously…it happened.  Check out this link.  

I also want the absolute truth about some things.  I want to know what really happened on the day that John F. Kennedy was shot.  Was it one gunman?  Was it two?  Was it the C.I.A?  The Republicans, the Soviets, LBJ?  Over the years there have been so many theories and counter-theories and counter, counter theories.  The only thing, it seems, that can be agreed upon is that JFK is indeed, dead — which is more than I can say for Elvis.  Did you know that he was recently spotted at Skeeter Bob’s Pump and Pass in Skyler City, Alabama?

Ok…you’re right.  I made that up but it easily could have been a tabloid headline that would have sold millions of papers; and, it’s slightly more believable than some of the stuff they gleefully print on the front page. 

I also want the truth about what really went down during the 1919 World Series, who actually won the 2000 Presidential election, and why exactly that the words ”am” and “not” don’t combine to form the contraction “amn’t”  As in, “I had a huge lunch.  I amn’t hungry.”

While we’re on the subject of questions with no answers, somebody please explain Facebook to me.  In an effort to keep up with my old Sunday school kids who are no longer kids, I joined Facebook.  I have been steadily gathering “friends” ever since.  What I don’t understand though is how I became ”friends” with people who have barely been acquaintances for the last 10 years?  Ah…the magic of Facebook!

And perhaps the most complex question of all is, “What in the world is wrong with me?”  I don’t care to know Britney’s every move and my life will remain unchanged regardless of who committed a fashion faux pas on the red carpet.  I find the power and influence of Donald Trump, Oprah, and Dr. Phil to be downright scary at times.  I don’t think foul language, crass jokes, or rude kids make a movie script enjoyable.

And my worst offense to date?  I hate my cell-phone.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I hate my phone.  I saw a commercial last night showcasing the App Store feature of the new IPhone.  The tagline of the commerical was, ”What do you want your phone to be today?”

My immediate and yet slightly bewildered answer was, “How about a phone?”  I don’t need to play games, text my Facebook ”friends”, surf the net, or watch music videos.  I just need it to make a phone call every now and then.  Otherwise, just leave me blissfully out of touch, thank you very much.  I know, I know…very old school of me.

In John 17:14-15 Jesus prays for his disciples.  ”I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world.  My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.”

As Believers, we are to be “In the world — not of it.”  Meaning we are physically present in the world but not part of it’s satan-driven values.  At times I do really well at skimming the surface of what the world has to offer without becoming totally immersed in its culture.  Other times, I do not and my focus completely misses the mark.

Do people around me think I’m different because I hate my phone or because they see Jesus in me?  My honest answer to that question is, “I don’t know.”; and, the fact that I don’t know the answer feeds my insomnia on a nightly basis. 

The lyrics of the song, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus“ talk about looking into the face of Jesus and then having the “things of earth” simply fade away.  And although that is my ultimate goal, to be utterly and completely focused on Christ, I’d still like to know what happens to our swirling debris when the sidewalk ends.

By Kiera Rich – KRich13@bellsouth.net

There was a story in the news this morning about a ghost sighting at a historic Civil War battleground in Georgia.  Because I love nearly anything about history, the article grabbed my attention.  Here’s a link to it if you are interested.  The article also started me thinking about ghosts.  How seasonal of me!

When I was little, we used to eat at a place called Northwoods Inn every Christmas Eve.  It was the source of swirling rumors and stories about being haunted.   It was also the source of one terrified little kid.  Me.  In addition to the annual Christmas Eve dinner, we had another un-spoken “kids-only”  tradition.  My cousins and I would sit at our end of the family table and scare the bejeebers out of each other with ghost stories about Northwoods Inn.  After a few hours of dinner and catching fear from my cousins, I would spend the rest of Christmas Eve lying wide awake in bed– not because I was excited about Christmas but because I was terrified to close my eyes.    I’m not sure I believed in ghosts back then but I sure believed in being scared!

As an adult, I’ve always been a squinty-eyed skeptic when it comes to ghosts and ghost stories.  The article this morning haunted me though.  No pun intended.  I’ve often wondered what it would be like to be at Gettysburg or on the beaches of Normandy or walking the streets around where the World Trade Center used to stand when nobody else was around.  Would I hear anything unusual?  See anything unusal?  I’m not sure.  Would I feel anything unusual?  Absolutely.  I think it would be impossible to be somewhere like that and not feel differently.    And not because of the ghosts of the dead but because of the lives of the dead.

As I look back on history, it isn’t the strategy of battles or the world affairs that capture my attention.  It’s the people.  I think about the boys who died at Gettysburg before they ever had much of a chance to live.  What were they like?   Did they have girlfriends?  Were their parents in favor of them fighting in the war?  Were they afraid?  I think about the young men who rushed toward Normandy Beach.  What were they thinking about as they stepped into the frigid water?  Their families?  Death?  Their country?  God?

And what about the people at the World Trade Center?  What were they thinking about right before the planes hit?    Getting their project finished on time?  Wooing that elusive client?  The sick kid that they left home alone on the couch?   I imagine that they weren’t thinking much about death because it was just an ordinary Tuesday — except that it wasn’t.  History may have the power to change the world but it changes people’s lives too on a profoundly personal level.

So are there ghosts?  I don’t know.  I doubt it.  Are there, as the news article mentioned, areas of “residual haunting”?  I don’t know that either.  But I doubt that too.  Are there areas in the world that are hallowed ground?  How can there not be?.  That has got to be the only reason why Walmart hasn’t built a store on the battlefield of Gettysburg.   I believe there are areas that should just be allowed to remain as they are.  I don’t care that the property where the World Trade Center used to stand is extremely valuable.  I believe it should be left vacant as a reminder of the lives that were changed on that awful day.   

Maybe there are ghosts.  I’ve never seen one.  But I believe in God but I’ve never seen Him either.   I also believe He can use any means and method He wants to remind us of lessons and sacrifices and people and lives we should never forget.