By Kiera Rich – KRich13@bellsouth.net
It was a normal day. A good day even. We got up, went to breakfast, and then on to church. We worshipped God in an extremely moving, inspirational service (with special guests “Sons of Mercy”!), and then we came home. Everything was perfectly normal.
But my heart was aching and my soul crying out to God for an explanation of how this could happen again. “This” being the shooting at Northern Illinois University. Wasn’t it just yesterday that people were shot at Westroads mall in Omaha? The day before that, it was a church in Colorado. Before that Virginia Tech was the epicenter of this evil. And now it’s Illinois.
When I first heard the news, I turned the TV off. Not because I am uncaring but because I sometimes care too much. Although I tried to avoid it, I still began to hear the details of the shooting. The enormity of the lives that were changed in an instant overwhelmed me. Although I tried to ignore it, grief began to seep into the very marrow of my bones. I am that kind of person who grieves for people I’ve never met. Someone who hurts when the world hurts. Today, I’m hurting a lot.
And what is it for? Someone could tell you, I’m sure. Like every other act of violence, the NIU shooting has touched off another round of everyone’s favorite game ”Pin the Blame on Someone.” “It’s the NIU administration’s fault.” “It’s the mental health system’s fault.” “Parents don’t raise kids right anymore!” “Where was campus security?” ”Where were the police?” ”TV, movies and music glamorize violence.” “The government doesn’t do enough to protect us.” “The government is too involved.” “‘Shoot `em up’ video games are to blame.” ”Guns are too easy to buy.” “If everyone carried a gun, none of this would have happened.” “This is God’s judgment on an evil world.” “Satan has taken control.”
These are just a small sampling of the available opinions. But I have to wonder…does blaming someone really make us feel better? Does it really make us feel more in control of the situation? Does the whole “Blame Game” give anyone else a burning/churning feeling in their gut like it does me? I am so beyond caring about who is to blame. I just want the insanity, and the pain, and the evil to stop.
Another senseless tragedy has occured and there are a whole lot of people who’s lives are profoundly changed. Some of their lives are simply destroyed. And there were a whole lot of people that went to bed last night not really believing that the sun would rise this morning. Some probably didn’t even care if it did. But the sun did rise. And life goes on. And I wonder why.
I thought of those people this morning — when I went off to worship. I thought of their grief. I thought of them planning funerals and wondering how such a promising life had gone so wrong. And I felt guilty that everything in my corner of the world is so completely normal when everything in theirs is spinning totally out of control.
I don’t know the answers. I don’t know how to make sure another school shooting never takes place. I don’t know how to keep shopping malls, and sporting venues, and churches, and every other public and private space safe. I don’t know how to reach every deeply troubled person. I realized today that I don’t even know how to pray about this situation. But I do know this. Jesus promised He would return to this world.
Come, Lord Jesus. Please hurry. I’m tired and I want to go home.
